Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Dear Crayola...

Are you trying to kill me? 

A few month's ago my two year old daughter received her first set of Crayola Crayons from Grandma (which by they way you need to start IDing grandparents and other non-parental units from buying gifts that cause headaches, physical pain and financial damage to me and my bank account). Since then I now have a beautiful portrait of a blue squiggle on the wall in my bedroom, melted brown crayon on the passenger seat of my wife's car (yes, I know what you are thinking and when I saw it I thought it looked like poop too!) and a sore foot from stepping on the plastic crayon case that my daughter hid like a bear trap in a pile of clothes on the floor. 

Yes, you have made great strides in making your crayon's kid friendly, but isn't it time to make them parent friendly as well? I don't know if you've truly considered this but it's my wallet that makes it possible for you to create bear traps, fake poop stains and a 2 year old's interpretation of Jackson Pollock paintings on my wall.. 

Although, now that I think about it, as much as it sucks to see my wife's car destroyed and my foot pained, I will say I do appreciate the smile my daughter gets when she proudly draws a squiggle on the wall or the feeling of joy she gets when she's draws abstract lines on paper or for the very few few moment's she can truly express herself with a crayon and a piece of paper. So for that and many other happy moments in her childhood, I thank you for the memories... however, if you could try to make them less applicable for graffiti and tools of destruction it would be greatly appreciated.


-Somebody's Father-

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