"Breakfast is the most important meal of the day", "an apple away keeps the doctor away", but would it be surprising to note that "time for your wife, is good for your life"? (I coined that, it's good right?) Well, it is and if you haven't made time yet, I hope you will after this post...
It's been sometime since my wife and I have had a date night and since we moved into our new neighborhood, we have been hunted down by all sorts of girls asking to babysit our girls and last Sunday, after church, was no exception> I found my wife in the hallways talking to one of the young women, Sarah, who coincidentally was holding my 6 month old daughter. Now I wouldn't normally suspect anything, but like I said these girls are determined...
So as we talked with Sarah, you'll never believe what she asked me. That's right... "So Mr.SF, when can I babysit? I know how to hold a baby. I have a baby cousin in Canada so I'm really good with kids and she loves me!" As her words resonated in my mind, my thought processor (my mind) couldn't help but create the picture below...
That picture above has never happened before and it's nothing personal against anyone... I'm certain that any responsible person at a reasonable age could do a great job... Between you and me, you could probably replace the blonde girl in the drawing with me, put the baby upside down and it would be an accurate portrayal of how my wife sometimes sees me with the kids (Ok... not fully true, but it's got some general accuracy). The point is this, there is something about leaving the girls with a babysitter that's hard for me.
When I even think of leaving them my mind starts to spitball worst case scenarios:
"What if the kids get sad and the sitter can't console them? What if the kids get hurt? What if the kids get mad and she ties them up? or the kids get mad and they tie her up? What if the babysitter opens a cupboard and notices that we have 20 bags of rice sides? What if the sitter doesn't know how to hold my girls the way I would? What if she doesn't do that voice while reading "The Pout Pout Fish" or sing her "Twinkle, Twinkle" at just the right pitch...See? Worst case scenarios... And on all accounts most of them aren't even real or that good of an excuse... but I wanted to prove a point... If your like me... sometimes the fears feel so real! But as I've recently come to learn, they are really a smoke screen for personal insecurities. The chance my kid gets hurt is minimal and even then, kids get "owwies" all the time. The real fear is whether or not we can handle being away from them long enough to know that things will be all right both for them and ourselves.
and what if she does do it right and then the girls love her, and then my wife loves her, divorces me and marries Sarah? or what if she does do it right and nothing bad happens..."
As previously stated, my wife and I haven't been on a date in a long time, almost 7 months since Numba Two was born. We've had family dates and double dates, but I realized that there was much more than just the fear of what would happen if the kids were alone with a sitter, but what we would do with that time. We love each other to death, but I think when life runs as fast as it does, you forget for a moment how to relax and enjoy the silence. Fortunately, the company I work for held a concert and gave us OneRepublic tickets! It was amazing! We called my wife's brother and sister-in-law for help and they sat the kids... but the best part wasn't just the music or the food... for a moment... I grabbed my wife, I held her close, laid my head gently on hers and just held her... No screaming from the kids, no pans burning in the background... Just the song "Good Life" playing in the background reminding us how good we have it!
Now, I don't know your situation and I'm not suggesting you make it big, but if you haven't had a night out to yourself or as a couple... make sure you do... It doesn't need to a concert, it can be a walk out or 30 minutes at a Sonic, but make sure you give yourself the love you really need, cause in the end of the day don't you deserve a little love too?
P.S. No kids were hurt during date night... actually Uncle and Aunt Funpants sent constant texts and when we got home Numba One couldn't stop talking about how much fun she had with them. A big thanks to Uncle and Aunt Funpants! You know who you are and we love you both!